Anyway, so the family wanted another get-together but at my uncle's house. It was actually really nice. Although, Suzuki and I were mostly to the side because we're not very social like the rest lol. We ended up drawing to keep ourselves busy.
A lot of the family noticed Suzuki drawing on her bag. They were so impressed. xD My cousin's grandpa even told her that she could sell them for 50 bucks.
The food was awesooome. It was all pasta from a restaurant which I don't know how to spell correctly haha. I had some calamari with vegetables. Suzuki had clam linguine with red sauce. I know majority of the family got shrimp scampi. xD
The only thing that bothered me was my dad and the conversations about him.
Our dad tried to get Suzuki and I to say hi and we would say hi. At one point, he even went as far as saying "Say hi to Jaz (his wife-y)" in front of everyone because we were only saying hi to him.
Not trying to go on a rant here but it's quite irritating when people kind of pull that. First of all, she didn't bother saying hi to us first so why do you have to make it look like we weren't talking first? Ugh. Sorry. I'll move on now haha.
Then, our grandpa and uncles were talking about my dad. I couldn't hear very well but I know my grandpa was going on about how he didn't want my dad to make mistakes in this marriage.
I... in a way... I just felt a huge wave of mixed feelings.
Sadness of being left behind. Angry at him for being so selfish. Disappointed because he used to be something I was so proud of. Lonely because we're never going to be the same like we were eight years ago.
Ah great. I'm kind of tearing up here. Haha. I don't like saying "I'm crying" because it sounds so pathetic. Even though people tell me that crying isn't something like weakness, I always feel like I'm just burdening someone with my stupid feelings. It's not fair to them at all for having to see a messed up wreck. I rather let no one see me in that way.
Well, moving on again... I did draw with Suzuki. Just a doodle of her OC, Ueno Yuki.
I usually get nervous. Drawing in front of people isn't all the comfortable with me but I managed to just draw. I even became so focused that I managed to drown out everyone for a little while.
Now I'm kind of hungry lol. I'll eat my leftovers.
Here's the pictures. Just a few though. Sorry haha.
I edited it a bit. This is my drawing of Ueno.
I actually drew her body up until the skirt but I took the picture like this instead.
I actually drew her body up until the skirt but I took the picture like this instead.
I was erasing so roughly that the tip of it broke off.
I'm just never gentle with what I do, huh?
My food lol.
My two buttons.
Ciel and then Sebastian and Ciel.
I feel like I need a few more buttons haha.
Ciel and then Sebastian and Ciel.
I feel like I need a few more buttons haha.
Oops. I don't think Suzuki wanted me to have this. Oh well lol.
This is Suzuki drawing on her bag. She actually did a lot while we were there.
Some of the family lol.
My first home before... everything happened.
I remember so much about this place.
Although, I don't particularly miss it.
It's just... I wonder a lot.
Like, the two girls that lived here as well... are they still there? I can't remember their names.
And that playground. I wonder if it's still there. I want to sit on the slide like I used to.
The house.
I wonder what it looks like now.
I wonder what it looks like now.
But I'm a bit afraid to ever step foot in this area.
I don't know why. I just am.
One day I hope to be confident enough to walk around here.
For now, I just can't.
Well, that's pretty much it for now. Until next time.