Walking on a thin string.

This whole week has been hectic lol. Next week is hopefully going to end it all but for now, just gotta sit and wait.


Like usual, I managed to take a few pictures from yesterday and the day before. Not a lot but gotta make do with what you got lol.

Remember this? IT'S STILL THERE.

On my previous entry, I found this lying on the street.
And it was in the exact same spot. I just took the picture sidewards. xD

A little snap of the view. 

This is where we kinda got lost and kept walking around.

It was a hassle.

After we were done with what we had to do, just chilled before going home.

Then, I saw this. 

I don't want this game but I desperately hope that KH3 will be on a console I have LOL.

It was late and we were heading to mom's house.

The moon was huge. 

Although, it was hard to take a picture on a bumpy road lol. 

This was yesterday. 

While my mom was checking on financial stuff, I saw this and just had to.

It was as big as half of my thumb. 

And yes. It's dead.

Last night I was doodling and ended up drawing a small comic.

I just took a snap of the end. 

I'll talk a little of yesterday. Just a brief since I kinda want to just get it out of my system lol.

My mom is seriously stressing again. 

Because Suzuki and I aren't in school yet, the child support that she gets off of my dad is halted, but once they see a schedule from college... she'll get her money again.

For now, she has to be careful with money. Last night she spoke to her mom (who's my grandma lol) and I overheard (since I was right there) that my mom is scared because of food. 

With what she has now, feeding Suzuki, me, and herself will be really rough unless we just eat very cheap food. We don't mind, but hearing something like that is just... hard.

Suzuki and I are considering the idea of staying with our grandma for a week until child support kicks in again. 

At the same time, I'm worried about my mom's health and don't want her to be alone. 

Ah. Not only that, but my mom also has to go to court.
She arranged it because my dad somehow made an error on his papers for child support. Whether he lied or really made a mistake, it was a HUGE mistake. 

And while she was going to be there, she wanted to show proof to the judge that we're being enrolled as full-time students. We're just really hoping to get that class schedule next week before the court day.

And during yesterday's events, a friend texted me. I won't mention names, but it was the wrong timing.

He told me to bother him and I (feeling stressed as it was) tried my best to tell him that I was in a tight spot so I had to get back to him later. 

He replied with: "Set everything on fire and come bother me"

I can't possibly explain how I felt at that point.

Whether I wanted to cry, scream, run, or whatever... I didn't know. 

I knew he meant it as a joke, I guess, but at that time.. I couldn't take it as one. 

It just made me realized how different I am compared to my friends.

Somehow, they make things... work.

They're able to balance their life. Do what they need to do. Hang out with friends whenever.

In a way, I'm jealous. But I think I'm more capable of accepting this difference. There's no use complaining about it anyway right? I mean, what good would that do?

It's just... everything has been about family.

After two deaths within three or fours years, I just realized how much things have gone downhill.

I just want things to get better. I want to be able to relax when everyone else is. 

I don't want to regret anymore.

And yeah. I want to do a lot of things.
I want to hang out with my friends. I want to be able to balance my life without worrying so much. I want to stop feeling exhausted and having to break promises. 

But that has to wait. Whether or not my friends will understand it or not, it's something I have to do. 

Ahhhhh.
Sorry for this odd entry. Maybe one day I'll look back at this and just laugh.

But yeah. Until next week, things are going to continue to be stressful. I'm not sure if I want to post any more entries until after since I might fill my blog with depression or angst. I really don't want to do that anyway lol.

So until... whenever. Later.

If you can't stand disturbing videos (I'm not sure how to describe it)...

I suggest you somehow look away and just listen to it.
Listening isn't bad.

BORN came out with their latest PV, BLASTED ANIMALS, long ago lol.

I know a lot of people would differ... but I think this PV is interesting in a lot of levels.

I can't understand Japanese that well, but it seems to be about anxiety.

Whatever the case, I'm always a huge fan of BORN.